During our most recent convocation, Dr. Spencer graced Olcott gym with what might be the most life-changing revelation since sliced bread—or at least since energy drinks became a macro for students. He spoke passionately about rest, but one particular point had the entire audience leaning in—the 26-minute nap. Apparently, this nap is scientifically proven to boost alertness, creativity, and possibly one’s GPA (unconfirmed, but I’ll take it).

Naturally, some students took this information very seriously—myself included. Within hours, hallways, common rooms, and even classrooms had transformed into makeshift laboratories for the 26-Minute Nap Theory. One could practically hear the collective thud of heads hitting desks at the EXACT eight-hour mark. 

The results were…mixed, to say the least. Some students awoke re-energized; others woke up halfway through French class with strange, new accents. A few woke up refreshed, claiming to have unlocked the secrets of the universe (in other words, they remembered their A2A notes). Others woke up mid-english class, startled and slightly drooling. Meanwhile, some didn’t sleep at all, believing that their 6-7 hours of sleep along with a Monster energy drink could help them go through the day. They insisted that sleep is for the weak, though most were spotted yawning aggressively by second period. Others woke up and realized they had accidentally missed their Latin class…yikes. A select few may have seen colors…?  I wouldn’t be surprised if I heard that one person slept straight through the entirety of their day, skipping dinner and study hall, or that someone had woken up confused about what century it was. 

I, for one, used my free period responsibly––taking a power nap worthy of a thesis on the philosophy of sleep. I didn’t even exceed the sacred 26-minute limit (self-control, thank you very much) and only barely made it to English before risking my perfect attendance record (yes, I am that person). I stumbled into English class looking semi-conscious and ready to conquer the rest of my day, though I fell asleep right after.

It’s unclear if this was enlightenment or a mild cry for help.

But if you try the 26-minute nap yourself, take my advice: think ahead before you close your eyes.

Because trust me, 26 minutes can turn into two hours real fast. And I mean it.

Take my warnings and just… maybe set an alarm. Please.