Ah, yes, the universal museum moment––you stand in a supposedly world-renowned art gallery and think, “What the heck am I looking at?” Maybe it’s the MET, the MOMA, or the Louvre (which hopefully you aren’t looking through the Apollo wing). We’ve all been there: stumped by a piece that evokes pure frustration, asking ourselves, “What in the world could that even mean?”. Eventually, you collect your deepest confusion and wander off, determined to circle back later with a head full of a more-in-depth understanding of other pieces, and mainly to reassure yourself that you aren’t completely clueless in a gallery.
You try the usual strategies: thinking hard and squinting your eyes to see if that unveils a hidden truth. You stare at them from across the room to ‘see the bigger picture’ if the museum curator sneakily created one. Once you’re convinced you’ve discovered a meaning your CL Seminar teacher would applaud, you confidently stride back to the piece from before, thinking to yourself, “Surely I’ll claim victory over this banana taped to the wall and uncover its true meaning. How hard can it be?”
After a faithful fifteen minutes spent staring at the piece––five spent overestimating your art knowledge, five spent in embarrassment (how hard can it be to pick apart the meaning of a banana taped to the wall?), and the last five in utter disbelief. Blowing out an exasperated sigh, you throw your hands in the air and turn to walk away. Then you see a couple nodding at the fruit, gesturing like they’ve just witnessed the flourishing essence of the fruit. “Whatever, they’re listening to the audio guide,” you mutter. “Cheaters.” You sulk away and out of the museum for another activity you are sure to enjoy right away. Never fear, though. I, your dutiful guide, am here to provide you with a surefire and 100% foolproof way to look like you (yes, you!), a humble pelican, totally ‘get it’ in an art gallery.
First, you must look the part: a pair of blue-light glasses to indicate you are really studying those details; a scarf and a paperboy cap to blend in with your fellow connoisseurs; and, for the final touch, a sturdy tote bag to carry your notepads and pen for extensive “note-taking” (just in case you’re suddenly enlightened by the greats around you and decide to create a piece of your own). Next, try looking for any tours in the gallery around you and discreetly follow along behind them for an inside scoop. This one requires stealth mode and quick cover-ups. If the tour guide turns to look, you must quickly become interested in the piece closest and gesture like your life depends on it. Lastly, watch a quick TikTok or YouTube explainer to pick up the right vocabulary (drop words like juxtaposition or negative space with confidence). If all else fails, say “to hell with this,” and grab yourself an audio guide or pamphlet. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. So give these tips and tricks a try the next time you’re in the RAC, and who knows, maybe you will actually end up ‘getting it.’ (Disclaimer: results not guaranteed)
