How to Rizz Your Interviewer

Sammy Ross '23, Staff Writer

The interview is the greatest battle in the war of college admissions. You must bring people you trust, for their service is direly needed. If the interviewer thinks you don’t have friends, they will simply get up and leave the room — no one wants a loser at their school. 

Next, to take control of the situation and assert your dominance as the “prize,” make sure to reschedule your meeting at the time of their first obligation in the morning. You must show that you are their number one priority, and they are yours. 

Now, the biggest thing that interviewers love is honesty: they’re masters at detecting lies (believe it or not). Don’t hesitate to ask them many questions; they love curious students. It’s even better to ask invasive questions about their personal life. Questions like “How’s your ex-wife?” show that you care! Other questions like “Why should I come to your school?” show that, although you have a strong foundation of interests, you are the one who needs to be wooed (unlike the other unqualified applicants).

Finally, at the end of your conversation, tell the interviewer “It was my pleasure being interviewed, let’s do this again sometime.” Works like a charm every time.