Dear members of the Loomis Chaffee committee,
I have recently been given the honor of visiting your esteemed campus. Whilst on my excursion in this pulchrum sanctuarium, I discovered the wonders of Pe-Lingo, an eccentric and wonderful system of slang commonly appearing in everyday conversation. It began when I was perambulating in the SNUG (which I would like to propose be renamed the SNAG, to properly reflect its true location, a conclusion which I happened upon after wandering the basement floors of Richmond searching for this fabled place), when a loaded sentence fell upon my presence, “Hey bro, while I was taking a break in the cage, I filled out a PER for a weekend trip to town. These four baggers are really driving me crazy.” I kickstarted my journey to understand and digest this newfound variation of the English language. After days of painstaking research in different student-concentrated areas, I would like to propose a few new words of slang as the results of my comprehensive research.
Logged adjective
A state of devastation and hopelessness, characterised by frenzied typing and late night procrastination showers
A word inspired by the phenomenon when—no matter the place or occasion—Log writers rush to complete their respective articles minutes before the 11:59 PM deadline. Often sustained by coffee, throw blankets, and fluffy slippers, students are recommended to stay away from these writers and avoid the words “deadline”, “writer’s block” and “editor” at all costs, unless one should wish to suffer the grave consequences of uttering these words.
Graveltrotting verb
A swift, brisk walk while maintaining a composed appearance
Graveltrotting often occurs during the last minutes of the 10-minute gap, where students can be observed swinging their arms and power striding while maintaining steady conversation with other students around them. All obstacles are avoided by swift movements of the hip. Though the head may move to greet people, the key defining feature of Trotters are their eyes, which at all times will remain on the target location.
REP verb
A request to un-leave campus
A per made on Opposite Day.
Two-Bagger noun
Having two classes per day
A word meant to be uttered with the utmost reverence and pride, often followed by a series of gasps and envious glances as other students think hard about when this miracle will occur within their schedule. The opposite of a four-bagger. Perhaps one day a student will be able to experience the mystical…. ‘one-bagger’.
Thus concludes my research. Perhaps one day when I visit campus again, I will hear students discussing two-baggers while graveltrotting to get their REP’s approved, with thoroughly logged expressions as they think about their imminent article deadlines.
