Angelina Wang ’26
Staff Writer
Geese Evicted for Sandwich Crimes

Geese have been flying out in the months of November and December, the V-shaped flocks ready to raid every pond that will take them. Scientists may think that they have geese all figured out, with their theory that the reason for the geese’s annual flight across the Northern Hemisphere is boiled down to migration. And this would be true—if it weren’t for the fact that the geese at Loomis Chaffee are no ordinary geese.
Why is Loomis Chaffee’s mascot a pelican if there are no pelicans? It’s simple: These geese are actually Pelican Geese, a rare species of geese found only in a few places in the world, such as under Mount Fuji and on LC’s campus during the warmer weathers. More specifically, the geese found on school grounds are Bovid Pelican Geese, which are only found in the meadows here at Loomis, and unbeknownst to the general population, can withstand anything. They’ve stood victorious against their equally powerful enemies, the Cervidae Hamerkop Geese as they serve a greater purpose (the pursuit of happiness).
These past years, they have left during the winter to visit their fellow Anser cirrus, or the Cloud Geese, which are made of clouds. But this year, they stayed due to a conflict with a Loomis student.
“I’m sitting here, minding my own business, when this duck walks up to me and steals my sandwich! It didn’t even take it properly, it ripped my bread and made me drop the entire thing in the pond—and it took my shoe, too!” said Ross Orinoco ’27 — the catalyst that resulted in the flock’s departure. Perhaps, if he had chosen to eat a hot dog instead of a sandwich, this tragedy could have been prevented. Unfortunately, he brought a sandwich, and Bovid Pelican Geese committed crimes daily for such delicacies. In response to the sandwich crimes, Ross was forced to challenge the goosey criminals to a competition of wit, friendship, tragedy, and growth. The faceoff was five versus five and held in secret in one of the glass study rooms in the library.
“Honk honk honk honk honk. Honk honk honk!!” one of the geese honked before the showdown. The game was poker, and the winnings were agreed on to be the following: if Ross and his teammates. won, the geese had to leave the pond, while if the geese won, Ross and Co. would become indentured sandwich servants for the rest of their lives. They had also thrown money into the pot for the heck of it. Furthermore, Bovid Pelican Geese are renowned for their great skill in playing the stock market. As such, they had amassed quite a grand fortune and an unfortunate habit of spending big to get winning big. They bet an arm, a leg, their car keys, their entire retirement savings, and the Batman. When the students happened to win by a stroke of luck, and with the geese having bet more than they had (Batmobile owns the Batman), they walked away rich while the geese flew away in massive debt and disgrace.
There are rumors that they are planning to come back for Round 2 in the spring. Geese, especially Pelican Geese, really hate being in debt, but the Bovid Pelican Geese especially do not like paying back their dues. The word is that they’re planning an attack or a heist of some sorts, but for now, Loomis should just enjoy the winter before the storm.