Attention, attention: a capricious change to the Brush Staircase has stirred major havoc. The once eye-catching YELLOW CAUTION TAPE has mysteriously disappeared, causing passerbyers to fade into oblivion. Who is responsible for this nuisance? Walkers no longer walk with CAUTION. TAPE no longer sticks. The YELLOW is transparent, invisible to the human eye. The forbidden territory — and its unspeakable, unknown past — is exposed.
Without the YELLOW CAUTION TAPE, the staircase torments all. It bullies those with knee problems. It miffles fast walkers, causes traffic jams, and jostles backpacks and people from left to right. It jolts. It speeds up. It gets wide. It gets narrow. It confines itself to an excruciating paradox of up and down, down and up. You know what they say, whatever goes up, goes down — just like the YELLOW CAUTION TAPE. The innocent, stolen, YELLOW CAUTION TAPE.
My fellow utilizers of the Brush Staircase, let us end our suffering. Let us embrace the YELLOW CAUTION TAPE and demand it back. Let us walk with caution, off our cell phones, and out of our books. Protect us from stairs — the ultimate menace and the supreme peril. Restore the YELLOW CAUTION TAPE!